a week in

well, almost a week.

i am just so unmotivated!  i feel like i am floundering right now.  The house didn`t go through and I am not sure what to do with myself.  I am in need of some passion but not sure where to find it.

Hmm, should probably be sure i am taking my meds.  Because i haven;t been and I can tell.

I need to move more.  i am averaging 5000 steps a day according to my jawbone and that aint great.  am killing the sleep, tho.  

The eating has to calm down too.  i treat each food item as never having it again.  yikes it is so bad and i just am tired of it.  i am out of shape and getting old and scared.  i havent been able to do this yet why will i ever think i can do it?  and it is exhausting.

meds.  everything begins with those for me.  i feel happier, get more energy and have more control over myself once i medicated.  sad huh?

I really suck at this

I suppose it is good that I don't publicize this blog huh?

13 things that were great about 2013

-  our amazing trip to china. 

-  exciting process of buying a lake house (unfortunately it didn't pan out)

-  Lucy's first friend bday party (even if it was 2 months after her real bday)

- jacks first sleepover bday party. It went great!

-Charlie's first sleepover party. They put a tent in the backyard and came in right before the rain started. 

- slipka family day in August. We went tubing down the Apple River and had ice cream for dessert.

- going back to London with chad for a week. Spent some days in some of my fave parks.  I miss it there. 

-  going to San Diego with chad in July. Beautiful there!

- our weekend in Chicago with Wayne and Sarah in February. So fun!

- mom and Lin came and helped get the house in order to sell. Didn't sell it since the lake house fell through but the house still is pretty organized!

- all three kids in school all day!  And the same school!

-  getting the kitchen done and having my 12 foot Long Island!

-  lengyel Xmas. Karaoke one night, pictionary the next!  We had a lot of fun together this year. 

Ok, 14 things I am looking forward to in 2014:

1. Our family vacation cruise in March. It will be great and we are so looking forward to it!

2.  A trip somewhere fun with chad, maybe?

3.  Andrea and April's 40th bdays this spring.

4.  Planning my garden with Lin. Hope to put in a new bed.

5.  Looking for a new lake house to buy.  Crossing my fingers hard. 

6.  Putting in a bedroom upstairs for jack.

7.  Slipka family day this summer. We have such fun coming up with something to do.

8.  Finally learning photoshop.

9.  Finishing the heal your gut class and getting my gut together.

10.  Exercising again. Ok not looking forward to it but gotta do it.  And looking forward to the results.

11.  My 20 yr reunion this summer. Yikes

12.  Chasing something creative....

13.  A house project. The stairs?  The laundry?  The basement?

14.  The unknown. Something great will happen and I have no idea what that is right now!!!

Another New Year

When will I learn?  Or when will I start being an adult??  Well, it is a new year, so let's hope that this is the year for me.


I didn't really do resolutions, but I do have goals.  Hmmm, maybe that is the difference I need?

• Lose weight.  Yawn, right?  But, I already started the last half of last year and now it is time to add the other piece.  I have been working out regularly (3-5 days a week) since August.  I am very proud of myself and totally patting myself on the back.  Maya and I have been working out together and I am definitely seeing improvements.  The problem?  My diet.  I joined WW online right before Thanksgiving (awesome timing!) and am planning to do more of that here now with a clean slate.  Would I love to hit my goal weight (165)?  Yes.  Would I love to hit my dream weight (140)?  Hell yes.  But I want to continue to lose weight, to be healthy, to eat healthier and to get there.  To get to my goals.  So, my official "goal" of this year is to lose weight and eat healthy (specifically get those fruits and veggies in everyday!!).
• Get organized.  Yawn again, right?  I am just so sick of being constantly lazy and disorganized.  I am working out now, taking care of my body, have my depression pretty well under control (summer is surprisingly hard for me) so it is time to GROW UP and get organized.  Which for me has far more to do with laziness than anything else.  So, I am starting with the kitchen (this sounds familiar).  Already accomplished the pantry which is terrible, moving on to the next cabinet tomorrow and so on.  And also some good old fashioned cleaning.  Starting with our sadly neglected bathroom.  I hit the regular stuff (shower, vanity, bathtub, toilet) fairly regularly, but now it is time to get that grody floor clean, too.  All of it, actually, at the same time.  How amazing, huh?  And then move on.  I also want to get my head organized.  Plan meals.  Get back to making lists.  Keep on top of stuff!  It is so easy for me to get lazy (there is that word again!) and to just let go.  Here's to HOLDING ON!
• I would like to get the house rearranged this year.  Biggest problem there is the hubs.  He will resist it.  So, not sure if it will happen, but I really want to move his office down there, move my room to his office and SET THINGS UP.  We have also discussed putting a fireplace in this year, so I would be willing to abandon this project if it means a fp project.  We shall have to see what the year holds, huh?

Let's see how it goes, eh?

Look at I Failed Miserably Last Year!!

Hmm. Last year didn't go as well as I had planned.

• We paid off a bunch of debt, yes. That was nice. But then we ran up our giant credit card to the limit with Christmas and spent our emergency fund on vacation in FEBRUARY. Not exactly a resounding success. Well, when you fall off the bike, all you can do is try again. So, I will be TRYING AGAIN THIS YEAR!!
• Totally let go of planning meals and doing coupons. I got pretty depressed last year (no specific reason, but I think abandoning working out didn't help!) and so I started antidepressants in the summer and am all sorted out now. So, I think it is time to give it a go again.
• House kept getting disorganized and organized and over and over all year long. But see #1!!

So, I am attempting to do it all again this year! Well, in a more 2010 friendly way anyway!

On March 1, 2010 I would like to:

• have main living areas (i.e. not the basement) organized and livable (i.e. not shoving stuff when people come over) on a daily basis.
• Donating to the church every week and looking for other ways to donate.
  
• Have walked at least 1/2 hour every day from Jan 1 on.

On June 1, 2010 I would like to:

• have bought flooring for the main level
• Keeping up-to-date with the house and have kids area of basement organized.
  
• Still walking 1/2 every day and having added strength training 3 x week since March 1.

On September 1, 2010 I would like to:

• Paid off the van (is officially due to be gone in October, I think)
• Walking 1/2 hour every day, doing strength training 3 x week and one day a week walking for an hour or more.
• Keeping up to date with the house and my room in basement.
• Stayed up to date with the garden, not wasting any food and canning at least 3 different items for the winter.
  

On December 31, 2010 I would like to:

• Be living within our means and saving "some"
• hardwood floors installed in the lower level and a island figured out
• donating money regularly and an emergency fund saved ($1000)
  

I am Hopeless

Man, I have really abandoned this. I just haven't had the energy. Or the motivation.

But I have made a doctor's appt. I think I have a lil' depression. So, I am hoping that will pick things up for the latter half of the year! Get me going again!!

Cross your fingers!

The Exercise Element

I am sucking at SUCH an elite level with this losing weight initiative this year. First it was proclaiming that I would lose my age this year....and then proceeded to do about zip to do that. Then it was to make it a new year's resolution....and then let it sit on the backburner. Well, it is time. Ok, it is past time, but I am taking the "past" out of it and just making it time!

I am working out every day in April. Yes, yes, it is only April 3rd, but the start of a new month is always a good time to start! And then I would love to carry it on, but one month at a time!

So, here is my tally so far:

April 1 - did my slim in 6 video (and really felt it the next day!)
April 2 - 20 minutes on the treadmill (nothing great, but was the start of my period and I know it is a lousy excuse, but it is a tough day for me. However, it is good to note that I did feel better during the day than I normally do!).

Not exercised yet today, but will post when I do!

Back to Reality!

We had a great vacation last week; much needed time bonding with friends who have moved far away, much needed time away from the kids and they had much needed bonding time with their Granny and Auntie!! Win, win, win!

But now it is back to the grind (although it doesn't feel like a grind - I feel refreshed, happy and content!) and back to my tracking!